Why Dudes Should Not Overdo Things in a Date

Just like in a football game, dating involves two teams. The team that win assures themselves a playoff berth in the process and denying one to the over-hyped, overblown or  just miserable team.

Yesterday it was my distinct pleasures to watch my premier league Football Team
dispatch a miserable team, assuring themselves of a playoff. Was it a particularly exciting game?  Not really.  But it didn't need to be. My Team did what they needed to do to win--and nothing more.

They knew they were the better team.  And they knew if they went out and played sound, fundamental football without trying to score 50 goals or gain 500 yards, they would win.

Not only that, they also knew if they tried to overdo it, they might give the other team a chance to score if they did not defend their goal, tire or just create too much expectation for the next playoff.

There's a lesson here Dudes, and one you should pay close attention to in the realm of attraction:  do what it takes to create and sustain it, but don't try to overdo it.

What I mean by overdoing it is this:  trying to impress a woman by taking her to fancy-schmaltzy places you never go to, talking like a professor/in accent, dressing in goofy, uncomfortable clothes, or blowing wads of money you can't afford to spend in her presence.

None of that is necessary.  It's overdoing it, and women really don't like men who try to over do it.  Most women are just dying for a normal guy to have a normal good time with.

Should you go to a nice place?  Sure--but one you'd both go to anyways on your own.  Should you dress nice?  Sure--but only in clothes you'd wear elsewhere and are truly comfortable in.  Should you spend money?  Sure--but only in the normal course of the time you're spending with her.

When you go overboard you quickly reach the point of diminishing returns, dramatically increasing the chances of it backfiring and killing any attraction.  Not only that, there's no way you can sustain it, and once you come back down to earth she may think of you as a fraud.

So, do what it takes to create and sustain attraction, as well as have a good time.  Nothing more, nothing less... and more often than not, be yourself and you'll come out a winner.

1 comment:

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