One of the most difficult things to comprehend is how a once intimate relationship can result in loneliness and isolation when couples stop having meaningful communication. Some marriage counselors have identified that naturally when marriage goes through the romantic stage ; deep conversations run out and the next stage becomes faultfinding and power struggles.
One partner may avoid being in deep conversation because it leads to arguments and therefore they view conversation as a negative thing or unsafe. Other common reasons that stop talking in relationships include; busy lifestyle, stress, TV programs, kids, deep hurts/resentments not resolved, bad marriage foundation... etc
How To Keep Talking in relationship
· Ask yourself where your relationship is at and where you both would like it to go. Once a couple agrees to work together on this goals point, they will also need to learn how to talk about the things that make them uncomfortable. There is no way around it. It takes a lot of effort and commitment to keep at it.
· Learn to resolve conflicts and not avoid them. For many couples, there was no role model of resolving conflicts and discussions when they were growing up. Working through a simple issue seems alien. Truce cannot be found without discussions since it is a fact each partner comes from a different background and up bringing.
Marriage is therefore a new beginning of growing up together and there is no shortcut to the new dimension and satisfaction of marriage being happily there after without working through struggles by discussions. Commitments to a new beginning can start at any point.
· While it is important for couples to make a commitment to talking through issues when and as they arise, deep communication does not always have to be about resolving conflicts, but also about sharing dreams, fears, disappointments and other intimate experiences. When a couple have had a lot of conflict or hurts in their relationships, trust building to clear resentments may need to take place first before each feels safe enough with the other partner to be vulnerable.
· Jealously guard your couple time and protect it from everyday demands of life. You may occasionally need to create an environment with no distractions, where you can concentrate on each other. I have also found that communicating when sitting face-to-face has a greater impact than sitting together and facing ahead. Talk regularly and have supplementary talks on unfinished vital issues.
· Subtly Men need to develop a strong sense of personal authority, if you cannot communicate attractively to women, you will fail. Power is not given but taken.
One partner may avoid being in deep conversation because it leads to arguments and therefore they view conversation as a negative thing or unsafe. Other common reasons that stop talking in relationships include; busy lifestyle, stress, TV programs, kids, deep hurts/resentments not resolved, bad marriage foundation... etc
How To Keep Talking in relationship
· Ask yourself where your relationship is at and where you both would like it to go. Once a couple agrees to work together on this goals point, they will also need to learn how to talk about the things that make them uncomfortable. There is no way around it. It takes a lot of effort and commitment to keep at it.
· Learn to resolve conflicts and not avoid them. For many couples, there was no role model of resolving conflicts and discussions when they were growing up. Working through a simple issue seems alien. Truce cannot be found without discussions since it is a fact each partner comes from a different background and up bringing.
Marriage is therefore a new beginning of growing up together and there is no shortcut to the new dimension and satisfaction of marriage being happily there after without working through struggles by discussions. Commitments to a new beginning can start at any point.
· While it is important for couples to make a commitment to talking through issues when and as they arise, deep communication does not always have to be about resolving conflicts, but also about sharing dreams, fears, disappointments and other intimate experiences. When a couple have had a lot of conflict or hurts in their relationships, trust building to clear resentments may need to take place first before each feels safe enough with the other partner to be vulnerable.
· Jealously guard your couple time and protect it from everyday demands of life. You may occasionally need to create an environment with no distractions, where you can concentrate on each other. I have also found that communicating when sitting face-to-face has a greater impact than sitting together and facing ahead. Talk regularly and have supplementary talks on unfinished vital issues.
· Subtly Men need to develop a strong sense of personal authority, if you cannot communicate attractively to women, you will fail. Power is not given but taken.
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